[She leans into Shuichi's hand, presses her palms into her eyes and tries to breathe past gasping sobs. Shuichi believes in her so, so much, and she wishes she could be as certain of his perspective as he is. She wants to be strong for him, someone reliable, someone who can make up for all the awful things she put him through during the Killing Game.
Training as a paladin had made it easier for her to spot lies, press the weak points in an argument better than she had during that horrible class trial. The weak point is there, right there in the tone of his voice, the way he reverses position. Why does he think that? Is it because he knows she's a murderer, knows she's killed since that awful game?
It hurts. Her hands go to her heart, and both boys can probably feel the stab of pain that accompanies the thought that Minato thinks she's capable of being the kind of person to enjoy a game like that.
But in a way, he's right, too. The part of her from the caverns, the darker part that tells her not to have faith in humanity, tells her that of course he would think that. He's right to think it. She did start the killing game and make Shuichi suffer, after all.]
I-I'm not, [she manages finally, both hands clutching at her heart as she stares at the ground.] I'm not like that, I'm not! I never, ever want to be like that!
[Even without Paladin skills, it's kind of obvious that Minato is backpedaling. But Shuichi doesn't seem to mind. To him, it seems that Minato perhaps didn't mean that in as bad a way as it sounded. In any event, he certainly didn't seem to be trying to hurt Kaede's feelings. And he did apologize.]
[His expression softens somewhat, all traces of anger leaving it (though he still seems a little disappointed) as his eyes leave Minato's to look back down at Kaede. He...doesn't know what to say to her. He felt that stab of heartache but he can't think of anything to say to assuage it. All he can do is nod slightly in a sort of determined affirmation.]
[ Urk. He wanted to talk about it, not argue with them. Or hurt her, as the pang of emotion seems to indicate. He's not afraid of her emotions or her past, but if she doesn't want to talk about it there's nothing to be done. ]
[She doesn't want to talk about it now, at least. Definitely not in front of Shuichi. It's not that she doesn't trust the detective, but rather, she doesn't want to upset him. Even him seeing her doubt herself this much twists at her heart.
Eventually, she manages to choke back her tears, sniffling them up and wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. The leather of her gloves stings a bit, but that's fine.]
...I'm sorry, [she mumbles, looking first to Shuichi, then Minato, trying to force a smile.] I... I wanted to use my Paladin Oath to protect both of you, but instead I just made you worry, huh...?
It's okay... that's nothing to apologize for. I'd...like to be able to help when you're in trouble too....even if it's just for things like this. So...
[So it's really okay that you made him worry, he doesn't mind. Not even going to bother trying to say he doesn't need protecting because...he totally does and he knows it.]
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gotyourbach) wrote2018-11-11 08:24 pm
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Training as a paladin had made it easier for her to spot lies, press the weak points in an argument better than she had during that horrible class trial. The weak point is there, right there in the tone of his voice, the way he reverses position. Why does he think that? Is it because he knows she's a murderer, knows she's killed since that awful game?
It hurts. Her hands go to her heart, and both boys can probably feel the stab of pain that accompanies the thought that Minato thinks she's capable of being the kind of person to enjoy a game like that.
But in a way, he's right, too. The part of her from the caverns, the darker part that tells her not to have faith in humanity, tells her that of course he would think that. He's right to think it. She did start the killing game and make Shuichi suffer, after all.]
I-I'm not, [she manages finally, both hands clutching at her heart as she stares at the ground.] I'm not like that, I'm not! I never, ever want to be like that!
no subject
[His expression softens somewhat, all traces of anger leaving it (though he still seems a little disappointed) as his eyes leave Minato's to look back down at Kaede. He...doesn't know what to say to her. He felt that stab of heartache but he can't think of anything to say to assuage it. All he can do is nod slightly in a sort of determined affirmation.]
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You won't be.
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Eventually, she manages to choke back her tears, sniffling them up and wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. The leather of her gloves stings a bit, but that's fine.]
...I'm sorry, [she mumbles, looking first to Shuichi, then Minato, trying to force a smile.] I... I wanted to use my Paladin Oath to protect both of you, but instead I just made you worry, huh...?
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[So it's really okay that you made him worry, he doesn't mind. Not even going to bother trying to say he doesn't need protecting because...he totally does and he knows it.]
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