I'm sure. [Takoma-chan or not, Shuichi's not going to go back on a promise to a friend. Even if that friend is an annoying liar. His mind is made up, and the only way he'd change it is if Kokichi pulled a stunt on the level of his mastermind scheme.] If a game isn't fun, then you shouldn't have to play it.
[That's Kokichi's philosophy, anyway. Apparently he doesn't apply it to himself all that well, though.]
But I really don't think it'll be like this forever. I'm sure he'll find someone who makes the game fun for him eventually. But if he keeps playing the way he's been playing so far, that's never going to happen.
[Shuichi is pretty sure he'll just give up and resign himself to being unhappy and he's not sure he wants to see the end result of that. Kokichi is...volatile. And kind of unhinged. But he's their volatile, unhinged little weirdo and dammit this time he's going to help him instead of just leaving him alone.]
[Because Kaito's "don't pay attention to him, that's just what he wants" approach was a spectacular failure. Time to try the opposite.]
But it's not just figuring out what squares to complete. I mean, that's a big part of what we need to do but...if we're going to do that, then we also have to be more serious about playing the game in general. Which...we haven't been since we're not really playing.
[Not in the way the station wants them to, anyway. Because they're not playing for the station, they're playing for themselves.]
And that's...something we should talk about, right? Since it means we'd be changing the way we've been approaching the game up to this point.
[He's probably overthinking it, maybe placing too much importance on their "approach"...but in his mind, it's the right thing to do.]
[He doesn't WANT to play with anyone other than Kaede but the fact of the matter is...she already has. And it's impossible for him to complete a card if he's only playing with Kaede. There are unpleasant kinks on there that he doesn't want to ask/make her to do, as well as harmless kinks that she just plain CAN'T do. Which he was fine with, when he was only playing the game for himself. But who knows how long it'll take Kokichi to find people he can play with both safely and enjoyably. His personality is something of an acquired taste...]
[She doesn't really want to change the way they'd been playing, because they'd just been playing for each other. Playing to support Kokichi would involve... doing some things she isn't sure she's comfortable with, and things she couldn't possibly ask Shuichi to do. Or, like his square, things that he just can't do with her. Prostitution doesn't work if you're already dating, right? And she still doesn't know what to do about blades.
Her fingers tighten gently around his hand. She's trying not to be selfish, but it's hard.]
You mean... doing things with other people involved, right? Like a lot of people do here, when they just... place advertisements asking people to help them complete their squares?
No! [The response is immediate, and his tone has taken on that rare, assertive tone that usually only comes out when there's a murder involved. Playing with complete and total strangers is part of what messed Kokichi up so badly. He doesn't want to see Kaede get hurt like that, physically OR mentally. His grip tightens around hers.] I mean...
[Woah there, maybe calm down a little? Use your normal voice, this isn't a class trial. It's just a conversation.]
We don't have to go that far. And I don't want to go that far. [His fingers loosen into a more relaxed grip around hers.] But...maybe it would be okay to occasionally play with friends? For those squares that we can't complete on our own.
[There's a little noise of shock that escapes her lips when he raises his voice, and she flinches, blinking at him. She's only heard him like this once before, when they were on opposite sides of class trial. Or, well, the same side, but the side she'd had to encourage him to fight for.
Her grip tightens on his hand again, and she lowers her gaze, looking at their joined hands.]
O-Oh... of course. [And she's relieved, tbh. She didn't really want to think about Shuichi playing with strangers. Not even out of selfishness (though that's part of it), but because he might get hurt.]
Mmm... almost all my friends are girls.
[She sounds a little doubtful, but maybe she can do something?]
I don't... mmnggh, it's going to sound weird, but... I don't want to do what we do with another guy. It was different with Oma-kun, but...
[She doesn't want to knowingly go into sex with some other guy. She likes her guy just fine??]
N-No, that doesn't sound weird. [Honestly, he's kind of relieved. Because he also doesn't want Kaede having sex with other guys.] And of course, even if it's a friend it wouldn't be the same as what we do. For one thing: technically you only need to be aroused for it to "count" in terms of square completion.
[And there are other points he could make here as well, as to how it would be different. How they don't have to drastically change their approach. But they can come back to that in a second. Right now, he's more baffled about that doubtful tone of hers.]
But, um...don't...you like girls?
[That was the impression he got when they'd introduced themselves to Tsumugi. And a few other times, when Kaede's perverted old man side came out.]
[Huh? She's flushing pink with embarrassment and a little confusion, because what on earth could have given him that impression...? Sometimes girls are just cute? Where's Tenko, she'd agree with her!! And probably threaten to choke Shuichi out, but that's not relevant.]
U-Umm... I'm friends with girls, and I think they're really cute, but I don't like them the way I like you... I think.
[Doesn't... doesn't everyone like girls??? Except gay guys, obviously.]
Eh? What about me? [Are you asking if he's into both boys and girls as well, or...ah. Okay, not that.] Oh um...well right now I don't have any friends I'd be comfortable doing something like that with but...I'm sure that will change by the time we run out of squares we can do together.
[Okay, well...no, he guesses he'd maybe be okay doing something with Kokichi. Not sex, but...you know. A handjob or something maybe? That would only be...slightly weird. As opposed to super weird and uncomfortable.]
[But he's not playing anymore, so that's not an option.]
[And while Tsumiki seems plenty nice and he considers her a friend...it would just be too weird, given the circumstances. He needs a little more time to get used to her still.]
Because even if we do decide that it's okay to play with friends, it's not like we have to do so immediately. There are still plenty of squares we can do together.
I just...felt like we should discuss the possibility before we actually reached that point. Especially since...now we know that we may not always have a say in who we play with. No matter how careful we are from here on, there's always the possibility that something like what happened with those memory ornaments will happen again...
[She exhales a quiet sigh of relief, squeezing his hand again. Let's just... move away from the topic of getting aroused around other people, shall we? She doesn't like thinking about him with other people, and now she has more questions about herself, which isn't what she was expecting out of this conversation, frankly.]
You're right. I... hope it doesn't happen again, but... I'll still want to be with you, no matter what happens.
[That's not going to change any time soon. She leans in and presses a quick kiss to his lips, though she's not sure who's she's reassuring with that kiss, really.]
So... as for the squares we can do together... [Still embarrassing to talk about, but slightly more fun.] Do you think they'll give us a prize if we get an actual bingo?
[He squeezes her hand back, returning the kiss as best he can in the short amount of time lip contact he's given.]
[Everything will be fine. He's thrown the possibility out there, and now they have time to mull it over and give the situation more thought. Ways to change their approach without changing it too much.]
Well, we're both only three squares away from relatively simple bingos... [Altered state of consciousness, blindfolds, and rubbing/grinding in his case and food, writing, and oral in hers.] so we can give it a try and see what happens? It would make sense if there was some kind of bonus for a bingos other than a blackout.
[A beat.]
Erm...unless whatever...square you completed with Oma-kun actually put you even closer to one?
[He still has...no idea what you guys actually did as far as squares go. Just that you both completed one.]
[Oral is the only easy one she can think of how do to offhand... she just has to build up the courage to actually, like, do it. The other two are a little weird, but maybe she can look stuff up about it?]
--Um...! N-no, I don't think so...
[Ah. Of course he'd ask about that. There's no reason not to tell him, not when he's already more than familiar enough with her card. And it's not like she could keep it a secret from him even if she wanted to.
She toggles her earring to display her card, biting her lip in uncertain embarrassment. Enjoy looking at that completed "Negotiation" square, Shuichi.]
[Okay, honestly he was expecting something simple that they could have accidentally filled. Like hair pulling or hands/fingers or costumes. Negotiation was not one he would have guessed. But, then again...with those two...]
[Yeah, he really shouldn't be surprised, should he? He's kind of curious but, also, he doesn't really want to know the details. So...moving on.]
It...didn't, no. Actually, all of yours have been pretty scattered...
[He brings up his own card. He only has three squares filled, but they're all pretty close together. He actually has two bingos started, though it's probably obvious why he didn't mention the vertical one as a possibility for them to attempt first. Water may be simple enough, but voyeurism and flexibility...? Not so much.]
[Honestly, he's pretty sure flexibility is one of the ones he'll have to find a friend for. Unless Kaede has a surprise she hasn't shared with him yet.]
But that's okay. Even if it didn't help, you still have the start of one right here. [He points to the middle row on her square.] And there's nothing really dangerous about food, writing, or um...oral.
[His cheeks flush faintly pink. Maybe they can...do the other two first. Save oral for last.]
And any one of those could be combined with blindfolds, rubbing, or altered state of consciousness, don't you think? Or even a completely different square, if we just wanted to do what would be fun instead of knocking out both of our started bingos as fast as possible.
[...is it weird that it's actually kind of fun to strategize like this? That's probably weird, right?]
[It's a little weird, yes. But thanks for not asking for the details of negotiation, because honestly, she isn't sure if she can put it into words herself. She can't help but pout a little, because yeah, of course hers are going to be kind of scattered... she hasn't been trying to get a bingo, or even thinking about what squares make sense to do together. Just if it happens, it happens.]
Altered state of consciousness...
[She frowns thoughtfully, latching onto that rather than start getting flustered about oral. Strategizing with him could be fun, too!]
What do you have to do for that? Like, something in the VR? Since it has to be different from my, um, drugs and alcohol square, doesn't it...?
Mmm...not necessarily. I don't think every square has to be completely and concretely different from another. There seems to be room for overlap.
[He shifts to face Kaede a little better before continuing with his explanation.]
For example...something like gore would probably be considered edgeplay, right? And those are both squares, Oma-kun even has both on the same card. I think altered state of consciousness and drugs and alcohol are a similar sort of situation. Being drunk is technically an altered state of consciousness, but so is being really sleepy or hypnotized. That dream we shared probably qualifies as well, since our perception was so warped that we may as well have been different people. [A beat.] Actually...there may be a way to know that for sure. Oma-kun has altered state of consciousness as well...
[He taps his lower lip thoughtfully. He'll have to ask Kokichi about that later, just to see if he's understanding this square correctly. Since there's not a handy list of examples or anything.]
So we could do something in the VR if we wanted to, but it shouldn't be a necessity.
Hmm... Iruma-san would probably know better than any of us.
[She hums. It's times like this where she kind of misses Miu? Maybe not everything Miu's ever said or done, but. You know.
Kaede absently runs her thumb over Shuichi's hand as he faces her, just a kind of idle movement while she thinks about it. Right, if they just think about all this stuff logically, there's no need to be embarrassed!!]
Rubbing is really easy at least.
[--Except if it's teasing Shuichi, it's fine to be a little embarrassing.]
[Yes, thinking about all this logically makes it so much easier. It's the reason why Shuichi has managed to explain as much as he has without stuttering or blushing. It's also probably why strategizing is fun for him. He's not really thinking about the actual actions that go along with each square. He's simply rotating pieces to fit them together. They're just words on a projection that only vaguely mean something embarrassing.]
[Then Kaede had to go and shatter the illusion by teasing him. His cheeks flush and he stares down at their joined hands]
M-mm...yeah. That one...is pretty straightforward.
[Thanks, Kaede, now he's actually thinking about what the words on those squares actually mean again.]
[She giggles at him. She can't help it? He's just. so cute. At least she leans in and gives him a kiss for his trouble. Even as she's giggling at him.]
So which ones of ours can we pair together pretty easily? Most of them seem like they could go with multiple ones, right? Like, um... blindfolds and writing. I could write you a secret message, and you could try to figure it out!
[That sounds like the kind of nerdy thing you'd like, right, Shuichi?]
[Apparently, no, he doesn't really think a puzzle would be sexy if she wrote it on him. Not that he ever actually gets a chance to voice this, because before he can think of how to put it, she mentions her tongue.]
[And that...yeah, that might actually be arousing.]
Mmnn... [He's still not so sure about the puzzle part because he might focus too much on that and...not actually be aroused. He can all too easily see that happening. But she is kind of on the right track...blindfolds and writing would go well together, if it you're writing on bare skin.] Oh! Wait, didn't that gift basket they gave you to compensate for the tree glitches have chocolate body paint in it?
[You didn't just...eat that, did you?]
If we used that, then maybe it would mark food off in addition to writing and blindfolds.
[It won't. But. You know, in theory, it satisfies the requirements of all three. If they were on their second cards, it would work.]
Um...that's something I haven't been able to figure out yet, since...virginity and rough sex were the same square for both of us and we were...obviously both aroused.
[So it was impossible to tell, really, what the exact conditions were. Does it have to be the person who has that square? Or will it count if only one of them is? He doesn't know.]
But the first time... [His cheeks darken and, once again, he has trouble meeting Kaede's eye.] were you...?
[Aroused? He honestly had no way of telling. He knows he was, for sure. But if she wasn't then clearly the answer is "only one person has to be aroused for it to count for both participants".]
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[To both of those things. She takes a deep breath and shifts on the couch to face him more easily, shifting to sit on one of her legs.]
So... I guess we have to figure out which squares we want to complete, right? If you're really sure about supporting him...
[We are talking about Takoma-chan, here.]
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[That's Kokichi's philosophy, anyway. Apparently he doesn't apply it to himself all that well, though.]
But I really don't think it'll be like this forever. I'm sure he'll find someone who makes the game fun for him eventually. But if he keeps playing the way he's been playing so far, that's never going to happen.
[Shuichi is pretty sure he'll just give up and resign himself to being unhappy and he's not sure he wants to see the end result of that. Kokichi is...volatile. And kind of unhinged. But he's their volatile, unhinged little weirdo and dammit this time he's going to help him instead of just leaving him alone.]
[Because Kaito's "don't pay attention to him, that's just what he wants" approach was a spectacular failure. Time to try the opposite.]
But it's not just figuring out what squares to complete. I mean, that's a big part of what we need to do but...if we're going to do that, then we also have to be more serious about playing the game in general. Which...we haven't been since we're not really playing.
[Not in the way the station wants them to, anyway. Because they're not playing for the station, they're playing for themselves.]
And that's...something we should talk about, right? Since it means we'd be changing the way we've been approaching the game up to this point.
[He's probably overthinking it, maybe placing too much importance on their "approach"...but in his mind, it's the right thing to do.]
[He doesn't WANT to play with anyone other than Kaede but the fact of the matter is...she already has. And it's impossible for him to complete a card if he's only playing with Kaede. There are unpleasant kinks on there that he doesn't want to ask/make her to do, as well as harmless kinks that she just plain CAN'T do. Which he was fine with, when he was only playing the game for himself. But who knows how long it'll take Kokichi to find people he can play with both safely and enjoyably. His personality is something of an acquired taste...]
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[She doesn't really want to change the way they'd been playing, because they'd just been playing for each other. Playing to support Kokichi would involve... doing some things she isn't sure she's comfortable with, and things she couldn't possibly ask Shuichi to do. Or, like his square, things that he just can't do with her. Prostitution doesn't work if you're already dating, right? And she still doesn't know what to do about blades.
Her fingers tighten gently around his hand. She's trying not to be selfish, but it's hard.]
You mean... doing things with other people involved, right? Like a lot of people do here, when they just... place advertisements asking people to help them complete their squares?
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[Woah there, maybe calm down a little? Use your normal voice, this isn't a class trial. It's just a conversation.]
We don't have to go that far. And I don't want to go that far. [His fingers loosen into a more relaxed grip around hers.] But...maybe it would be okay to occasionally play with friends? For those squares that we can't complete on our own.
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Her grip tightens on his hand again, and she lowers her gaze, looking at their joined hands.]
O-Oh... of course. [And she's relieved, tbh. She didn't really want to think about Shuichi playing with strangers. Not even out of selfishness (though that's part of it), but because he might get hurt.]
Mmm... almost all my friends are girls.
[She sounds a little doubtful, but maybe she can do something?]
I don't... mmnggh, it's going to sound weird, but... I don't want to do what we do with another guy. It was different with Oma-kun, but...
[She doesn't want to knowingly go into sex with some other guy. She likes her guy just fine??]
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N-No, that doesn't sound weird. [Honestly, he's kind of relieved. Because he also doesn't want Kaede having sex with other guys.] And of course, even if it's a friend it wouldn't be the same as what we do. For one thing: technically you only need to be aroused for it to "count" in terms of square completion.
[And there are other points he could make here as well, as to how it would be different. How they don't have to drastically change their approach. But they can come back to that in a second. Right now, he's more baffled about that doubtful tone of hers.]
But, um...don't...you like girls?
[That was the impression he got when they'd introduced themselves to Tsumugi. And a few other times, when Kaede's perverted old man side came out.]
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[Huh? She's flushing pink with embarrassment and a little confusion, because what on earth could have given him that impression...? Sometimes girls are just cute? Where's Tenko, she'd agree with her!! And probably threaten to choke Shuichi out, but that's not relevant.]
U-Umm... I'm friends with girls, and I think they're really cute, but I don't like them the way I like you... I think.
[Doesn't... doesn't everyone like girls??? Except gay guys, obviously.]
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[Yeah. Definitely the one you want backing you up on this.]
Oh. It's just...some of the things you said back at school...like when you were talking about what a nice body Shirogane-san has...I just assumed...
[He assumed she was into both boys and girls. So...is the truth actually that she's just a pervert??]
U-uhm...never mind. Sorry?
[Is this something he needs to apologize for?]
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[Cheerfully! Does not see anything wrong with... hm. ...Hm.]
A-Anyway... What about you, Saihara-kun...?
[Do you... do you have friends to play with?]
Tsumiki-san is really nice, and it seems like she'll do anything you ask!
[And also she's a little too meek for her to be Shuichi's type, she's pretty sure? So. Safe.]
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Eh? What about me? [Are you asking if he's into both boys and girls as well, or...ah. Okay, not that.] Oh um...well right now I don't have any friends I'd be comfortable doing something like that with but...I'm sure that will change by the time we run out of squares we can do together.
[Okay, well...no, he guesses he'd maybe be okay doing something with Kokichi. Not sex, but...you know. A handjob or something maybe? That would only be...slightly weird. As opposed to super weird and uncomfortable.]
[But he's not playing anymore, so that's not an option.]
[And while Tsumiki seems plenty nice and he considers her a friend...it would just be too weird, given the circumstances. He needs a little more time to get used to her still.]
Because even if we do decide that it's okay to play with friends, it's not like we have to do so immediately. There are still plenty of squares we can do together.
I just...felt like we should discuss the possibility before we actually reached that point. Especially since...now we know that we may not always have a say in who we play with. No matter how careful we are from here on, there's always the possibility that something like what happened with those memory ornaments will happen again...
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[She exhales a quiet sigh of relief, squeezing his hand again. Let's just... move away from the topic of getting aroused around other people, shall we? She doesn't like thinking about him with other people, and now she has more questions about herself, which isn't what she was expecting out of this conversation, frankly.]
You're right. I... hope it doesn't happen again, but... I'll still want to be with you, no matter what happens.
[That's not going to change any time soon. She leans in and presses a quick kiss to his lips, though she's not sure who's she's reassuring with that kiss, really.]
So... as for the squares we can do together... [Still embarrassing to talk about, but slightly more fun.] Do you think they'll give us a prize if we get an actual bingo?
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[Everything will be fine. He's thrown the possibility out there, and now they have time to mull it over and give the situation more thought. Ways to change their approach without changing it too much.]
Well, we're both only three squares away from relatively simple bingos... [Altered state of consciousness, blindfolds, and rubbing/grinding in his case and food, writing, and oral in hers.] so we can give it a try and see what happens? It would make sense if there was some kind of bonus for a bingos other than a blackout.
[A beat.]
Erm...unless whatever...square you completed with Oma-kun actually put you even closer to one?
[He still has...no idea what you guys actually did as far as squares go. Just that you both completed one.]
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--Um...! N-no, I don't think so...
[Ah. Of course he'd ask about that. There's no reason not to tell him, not when he's already more than familiar enough with her card. And it's not like she could keep it a secret from him even if she wanted to.
She toggles her earring to display her card, biting her lip in uncertain embarrassment. Enjoy looking at that completed "Negotiation" square, Shuichi.]
It didn't help with a bingo at all, huh...
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[Okay, honestly he was expecting something simple that they could have accidentally filled. Like hair pulling or hands/fingers or costumes. Negotiation was not one he would have guessed. But, then again...with those two...]
[Yeah, he really shouldn't be surprised, should he? He's kind of curious but, also, he doesn't really want to know the details. So...moving on.]
It...didn't, no. Actually, all of yours have been pretty scattered...
[He brings up his own card. He only has three squares filled, but they're all pretty close together. He actually has two bingos started, though it's probably obvious why he didn't mention the vertical one as a possibility for them to attempt first. Water may be simple enough, but voyeurism and flexibility...? Not so much.]
[Honestly, he's pretty sure flexibility is one of the ones he'll have to find a friend for. Unless Kaede has a surprise she hasn't shared with him yet.]
But that's okay. Even if it didn't help, you still have the start of one right here. [He points to the middle row on her square.] And there's nothing really dangerous about food, writing, or um...oral.
[His cheeks flush faintly pink. Maybe they can...do the other two first. Save oral for last.]
And any one of those could be combined with blindfolds, rubbing, or altered state of consciousness, don't you think? Or even a completely different square, if we just wanted to do what would be fun instead of knocking out both of our started bingos as fast as possible.
[...is it weird that it's actually kind of fun to strategize like this? That's probably weird, right?]
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Altered state of consciousness...
[She frowns thoughtfully, latching onto that rather than start getting flustered about oral. Strategizing with him could be fun, too!]
What do you have to do for that? Like, something in the VR? Since it has to be different from my, um, drugs and alcohol square, doesn't it...?
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[He shifts to face Kaede a little better before continuing with his explanation.]
For example...something like gore would probably be considered edgeplay, right? And those are both squares, Oma-kun even has both on the same card. I think altered state of consciousness and drugs and alcohol are a similar sort of situation. Being drunk is technically an altered state of consciousness, but so is being really sleepy or hypnotized. That dream we shared probably qualifies as well, since our perception was so warped that we may as well have been different people. [A beat.] Actually...there may be a way to know that for sure. Oma-kun has altered state of consciousness as well...
[He taps his lower lip thoughtfully. He'll have to ask Kokichi about that later, just to see if he's understanding this square correctly. Since there's not a handy list of examples or anything.]
So we could do something in the VR if we wanted to, but it shouldn't be a necessity.
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[She hums. It's times like this where she kind of misses Miu? Maybe not everything Miu's ever said or done, but. You know.
Kaede absently runs her thumb over Shuichi's hand as he faces her, just a kind of idle movement while she thinks about it. Right, if they just think about all this stuff logically, there's no need to be embarrassed!!]
Rubbing is really easy at least.
[--Except if it's teasing Shuichi, it's fine to be a little embarrassing.]
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[Then Kaede had to go and shatter the illusion by teasing him. His cheeks flush and he stares down at their joined hands]
M-mm...yeah. That one...is pretty straightforward.
[Thanks, Kaede, now he's actually thinking about what the words on those squares actually mean again.]
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So which ones of ours can we pair together pretty easily? Most of them seem like they could go with multiple ones, right? Like, um... blindfolds and writing. I could write you a secret message, and you could try to figure it out!
[That sounds like the kind of nerdy thing you'd like, right, Shuichi?]
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[Kaede, you're forgetting the key requirement here. Somebody has to be turned on for it to count.]
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[Huh.]
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[Temporary AND it uses her mouth. That would make it an even trickier puzzle.]
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[Apparently, no, he doesn't really think a puzzle would be sexy if she wrote it on him. Not that he ever actually gets a chance to voice this, because before he can think of how to put it, she mentions her tongue.]
[And that...yeah, that might actually be arousing.]
Mmnn... [He's still not so sure about the puzzle part because he might focus too much on that and...not actually be aroused. He can all too easily see that happening. But she is kind of on the right track...blindfolds and writing would go well together, if it you're writing on bare skin.] Oh! Wait, didn't that gift basket they gave you to compensate for the tree glitches have chocolate body paint in it?
[You didn't just...eat that, did you?]
If we used that, then maybe it would mark food off in addition to writing and blindfolds.
[It won't. But. You know, in theory, it satisfies the requirements of all three. If they were on their second cards, it would work.]
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[She didn't eat everything in the basket, gosh. Just some of it.]
I could compose a symphony in chocolate!!
[Wait. Then she'd just want to play it and not eat it. Also it would probably take too long to compose a whole song. Hmm... maybe not a good idea.]
Unless... you wanted to write on me? It doesn't matter who does it, as long as one of us gets, um, aroused, right?
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[So it was impossible to tell, really, what the exact conditions were. Does it have to be the person who has that square? Or will it count if only one of them is? He doesn't know.]
But the first time... [His cheeks darken and, once again, he has trouble meeting Kaede's eye.] were you...?
[Aroused? He honestly had no way of telling. He knows he was, for sure. But if she wasn't then clearly the answer is "only one person has to be aroused for it to count for both participants".]
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