[Another hum. It's funny he says that, because if someone just plopped a hat on Minato's head, she'd think he was her friend from home. Her fingers worry at the paper. She should tell him, huh...?
Instead, she mentions,]
That's... SCENE, right? [No,] Aragaki-kun told me a little about it, but I didn't know you had a dog.
[A beat of hesitation as she gathers her courage and continues,] We... don't really know a lot about each other from before we came here, huh? I want to know all kinds of things about you, Arisato-kun, but... I feel like I should explain myself, too.
[ Knowing each other's pasts... He doesn't put a lot of weight on people's pasts or who they used to be. Their history informs the present, but who they are now is the most significant thing.
Plus, the past year has been the only exciting part of his life. There's so much to explain. He really isn't looking forward to it. ]
[Her fidgeting stops for a moment in her confusion as she glances to him, visible surprise on her face. Of course it's important! She never even considered that it could not be important.]
Ummm... yeah. Because... I feel awful keeping secrets from you. And I kind of feel like I want you to know more than anyone, after what happened.
[Seeing him die, punching him in the temple, generally making an awful mess of things when she spoke to him in the immediate aftermath. Not as an excuse, but just to try to explain why it had hurt her so badly.
[He's so kind. She really hopes he doesn't hate her after this.
She starts twirling the poem between her fingers again, looking down at it as if that might inspire some courage. He'd written something so personal and been willing to share it with her. Surely she can tell him.]
I... told you I died. Or I was dying, I can't really remember the exact moment before I landed in the Quad. But I didn't tell you the whole story. I, um...
[She forces herself to drop the poem in her lap and look at Minato to see his reaction.]
[She's not Goro!! At least it helps alleviate some of the tension she'd been building in her shoulders as she just stares at him, wide-eyed. Does he really think she's that kind of person?!]
[She definitely killed someone. She deflates a little, looking back out over the lake.]
I'm just... I'm not an assassin. M-My friends and I, we were trapped in this awful, awful school and told we couldn't escape unless... unless we started killing each other. If someone got away with murder, they could escape while everyone else died, o-or if they got caught... they'd be punished, and the game would keep going until there were only two people left.
But there was no way any of us were going to do that! We were going to escape together and stay friends. S-So... the headmaster gave us a "motive." Unless we started the killing game, we'd all be killed forty-eight hours later.
[She glances to him again. Every time she tries to describe it, she knows how unbelievable it sounds. Like something out of a manga or a bad TV show. She was convinced that was all it was at first, too.]
[ Now this gets a reaction! He frowns, and the more she explains the more he finds himself angry on her behalf. Someone put her and her friends in a situation where they were forced to kill each other... To what end? Just to watch something "amusing" happen? Or maybe a grander goal, like Ikutsuki and Strega aimed for. Spreading discord to bring an end to the world. His instinct says to not let that happen, that SEES would fight it like they did in his world, but the orchestrators aren't here. There's no one to face down. Just Kaede's memories.
He stares at the ground in thought. It can't be solved anymore. A moment longer and his expression relaxes. He nods to no one in particular. ]
[She trusts him, even as she's sitting on edge, worried he won't believe her. She wants to trust that he will believe her, even as crazy as it sounds.
So hearing it described as difficult, at once acknowledging it as something that happened without judging her, brings an abbreviated laugh to her lips, one dies as quickly as it bubbles out.]
Y-Yeah. That's one way to put it.
[She draws her knees in closer to her chest and rests her chin atop them, closing her eyes.]
My friend Saihara-kun... he's the Super High School Level Detective. And he thought he had a way to catch the mastermind behind all of it, so we could all escape. But I was... really, really stupid, and afraid, and I thought... I thought even if we caught them, the mastermind could just wait until the time limit ran out, a-and we'd all be killed anyway. I couldn't let that happen to everyone, s-so... I used Saihara-kun's plan to try to kill the mastermind.
Instead, my trap caught one of my dear friends instead. S-So... as part of the rules of the game, because there was a murder, everyone had to go through a trial. I tried to use the trial to catch the mastermind again, but... it turns out there probably wasn't even a single person behind all of it that we could catch. It was impossible. So... I forced Saihara-kun to expose me as the killer.
[Her fingers dig in against her legs as she keeps her eyes closed.]
I was dragged out of the trial ground and-- hanged. Picked up and dropped over a giant piano, over and over and over and over. I could only breathe when my feet touched the keys, and only for an instant, then I was being strangled again. It felt like it went on forever.
[Another glance toward Minato, her eyes glimmering with tears.]
I never, never want any of my friends to go through something like that. Dying. You always act so cool all the time, but... that's why I was so mad. I was so scared. 'Cause... 'cause I was afraid you were gonna lock all that inside and suffer.
[ Her death was arranged to mock her for her interests and make a spectacle out of her. They wanted to strip her of any dignity or pride she had in her choices. They're horrible, treating his friend like that. The way they removed her agency...
Minato shakes his head. ]
How I died... I chose how it happened. Everything about it was mine. You chose to die too but... the arrangement wasn't yours.
[ She had no say in the implementation of her death. ]
[She's quiet, body wound tight with tension as her eyes flick over his face. Goro, and now Minato, are the only ones who know the full story of what happened; Qrow and some of the others only know the bare details. It's not something she shares easily.]
Does that really make a difference? [she asks, very softly. If she'd just-- been executed in a normal way, if she'd just been hanged without all the over-the-top psychopop, would she be able to sleep at night? Or would she have been dead before the Director could have reached her?
She doesn't know. She can't know. And it's that question, and many, many others, that keep her up at night.]
It's been months, but I still have trouble sleeping. Do you remember... what I told you back on Maru?
[About how she'd been able to sleep without nightmares because she was sleeping next to him? That.]
I guess what I'm trying to say is... if there's anything I can do to help you, you just have to ask. If... if you're still okay being friends with a murderer like me.
[ It would make a difference to him, he thinks. He hasn't been having nightmares about what happened. He hasn't been beating himself up over what ifs. He doesn't need the reassurance of another person by his side when he sleeps. Whether or not it makes a difference to her, he can't truly say.
Being friends with a murderer though? He can handle that. If he can be friends with the orphaner Shinjiro Aragaki and the professional assassin Goro Akechi, he can definitely be friends with the well-intentioned extremist Kaede Akamatsu. ]
I'm still your friend...
[ As for helping him.... ]
You could disguise yourself as me so I don't have to go to these events.
[ It's a joke, he doesn't expect Kaede to do anything like that, but also they're such a pain. He just wants to sleep. ]
[All her tension leaves her body all at once when he says he's still her friend, and she sags against her knees. It's still so strange and startling that everyone just accepts her so easily, even when they learn the truth about what she did. But she doesn't want to question his acceptance, not really. She wants to be his friend still, no matter what. Even if he hated her, she'd want that.
So she can't help but laugh at his request, just from the emotional overload if nothing else.]
I don't know how well that would work... we don't sound anything alike.
[Actually, wait. Her eyes widen with realization.]
Ah, but you're really quiet already. I could just nod at people. Aaah, jeez, you shouldn't use me to get out of events!
[ All the other negative effects around his ressurection are gone but this stayed behind. He never truly appreciated his ability to nap wherever and whenever. What a blessing it was. Now he struggles to get a restful night's sleep... ]
[She giggles at him. Exercise is probably good for him? She's pretty sure, anyway. That's what her teachers said whenever she had to sit on the bench during P.E. anyway.]
Well... if it starts really becoming a problem, I can cast Sleep on you again. I should probably practice keeping that going anyway, huh? In case we need to knock somebody out for a while.
[ She was really tired after singing for a few hours last time. She doesn't need to wear herself out like that again. Though he imagines playing violin for hours like that would end up hurting his wrist.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gotyourbach) wrote2018-11-11 08:24 pm
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Instead, she mentions,]
That's... SCENE, right? [No,] Aragaki-kun told me a little about it, but I didn't know you had a dog.
[A beat of hesitation as she gathers her courage and continues,] We... don't really know a lot about each other from before we came here, huh? I want to know all kinds of things about you, Arisato-kun, but... I feel like I should explain myself, too.
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[ Knowing each other's pasts... He doesn't put a lot of weight on people's pasts or who they used to be. Their history informs the present, but who they are now is the most significant thing.
Plus, the past year has been the only exciting part of his life. There's so much to explain. He really isn't looking forward to it. ]
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[Her fidgeting stops for a moment in her confusion as she glances to him, visible surprise on her face. Of course it's important! She never even considered that it could not be important.]
Ummm... yeah. Because... I feel awful keeping secrets from you. And I kind of feel like I want you to know more than anyone, after what happened.
[Seeing him die, punching him in the temple, generally making an awful mess of things when she spoke to him in the immediate aftermath. Not as an excuse, but just to try to explain why it had hurt her so badly.
Why she has trouble sleeping at night.]
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What secrets?
[ He asks it casually, not trying to put but to encourage her to speak about it. She's free to back out. ]
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She starts twirling the poem between her fingers again, looking down at it as if that might inspire some courage. He'd written something so personal and been willing to share it with her. Surely she can tell him.]
I... told you I died. Or I was dying, I can't really remember the exact moment before I landed in the Quad. But I didn't tell you the whole story. I, um...
[She forces herself to drop the poem in her lap and look at Minato to see his reaction.]
I was being executed. For- for murder.
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Were you an assassin?
[ Goro was an assassin so it doesn't seem that farfetched in his mind. ]
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[She's not Goro!! At least it helps alleviate some of the tension she'd been building in her shoulders as she just stares at him, wide-eyed. Does he really think she's that kind of person?!]
There's no way I could do something like that!
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You didn't kill anyone?
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[She definitely killed someone. She deflates a little, looking back out over the lake.]
I'm just... I'm not an assassin. M-My friends and I, we were trapped in this awful, awful school and told we couldn't escape unless... unless we started killing each other. If someone got away with murder, they could escape while everyone else died, o-or if they got caught... they'd be punished, and the game would keep going until there were only two people left.
But there was no way any of us were going to do that! We were going to escape together and stay friends. S-So... the headmaster gave us a "motive." Unless we started the killing game, we'd all be killed forty-eight hours later.
[She glances to him again. Every time she tries to describe it, she knows how unbelievable it sounds. Like something out of a manga or a bad TV show. She was convinced that was all it was at first, too.]
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He stares at the ground in thought. It can't be solved anymore. A moment longer and his expression relaxes. He nods to no one in particular. ]
That's... a difficult situation.
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So hearing it described as difficult, at once acknowledging it as something that happened without judging her, brings an abbreviated laugh to her lips, one dies as quickly as it bubbles out.]
Y-Yeah. That's one way to put it.
[She draws her knees in closer to her chest and rests her chin atop them, closing her eyes.]
My friend Saihara-kun... he's the Super High School Level Detective. And he thought he had a way to catch the mastermind behind all of it, so we could all escape. But I was... really, really stupid, and afraid, and I thought... I thought even if we caught them, the mastermind could just wait until the time limit ran out, a-and we'd all be killed anyway. I couldn't let that happen to everyone, s-so... I used Saihara-kun's plan to try to kill the mastermind.
Instead, my trap caught one of my dear friends instead. S-So... as part of the rules of the game, because there was a murder, everyone had to go through a trial. I tried to use the trial to catch the mastermind again, but... it turns out there probably wasn't even a single person behind all of it that we could catch. It was impossible. So... I forced Saihara-kun to expose me as the killer.
[Her fingers dig in against her legs as she keeps her eyes closed.]
I was dragged out of the trial ground and-- hanged. Picked up and dropped over a giant piano, over and over and over and over. I could only breathe when my feet touched the keys, and only for an instant, then I was being strangled again. It felt like it went on forever.
[Another glance toward Minato, her eyes glimmering with tears.]
I never, never want any of my friends to go through something like that. Dying. You always act so cool all the time, but... that's why I was so mad. I was so scared. 'Cause... 'cause I was afraid you were gonna lock all that inside and suffer.
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Minato shakes his head. ]
How I died... I chose how it happened. Everything about it was mine. You chose to die too but... the arrangement wasn't yours.
[ She had no say in the implementation of her death. ]
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Does that really make a difference? [she asks, very softly. If she'd just-- been executed in a normal way, if she'd just been hanged without all the over-the-top psychopop, would she be able to sleep at night? Or would she have been dead before the Director could have reached her?
She doesn't know. She can't know. And it's that question, and many, many others, that keep her up at night.]
It's been months, but I still have trouble sleeping. Do you remember... what I told you back on Maru?
[About how she'd been able to sleep without nightmares because she was sleeping next to him? That.]
I guess what I'm trying to say is... if there's anything I can do to help you, you just have to ask. If... if you're still okay being friends with a murderer like me.
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Being friends with a murderer though? He can handle that. If he can be friends with the orphaner Shinjiro Aragaki and the professional assassin Goro Akechi, he can definitely be friends with the well-intentioned extremist Kaede Akamatsu. ]
I'm still your friend...
[ As for helping him.... ]
You could disguise yourself as me so I don't have to go to these events.
[ It's a joke, he doesn't expect Kaede to do anything like that, but also they're such a pain. He just wants to sleep. ]
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So she can't help but laugh at his request, just from the emotional overload if nothing else.]
I don't know how well that would work... we don't sound anything alike.
[Actually, wait. Her eyes widen with realization.]
Ah, but you're really quiet already. I could just nod at people. Aaah, jeez, you shouldn't use me to get out of events!
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He shrugs at her. ]
It was worth a shot.
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As long as it's not something that could hurt my hands, maybe I'll do it once or twice for you. But not everything, okay?
[Her laughter fades, but her smile doesn't.]
I'm... really glad we're friends, Arisato-kun. Thank you.
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Me too.
[ He looks out to the lake for a moment. ]
... I haven't had any nightmares. Or regrets.
[ He has had trouble sleeping, which she's probably noticed by now, but it's not like it's thoughts of his death that are keeping him awake. ]
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[She'd almost forgotten about the piece of paper with his poem in her lap, the edges crinkled from her fidgeting earlier.]
I mean... you've been awake when I was awake at night, so I thought... maybe you were dwelling on it and didn't want to say anything.
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Sleeping is difficult now. Don't know why.
[ All the other negative effects around his ressurection are gone but this stayed behind. He never truly appreciated his ability to nap wherever and whenever. What a blessing it was. Now he struggles to get a restful night's sleep... ]
Why won't the world just let me sleep.
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[She's teasing him, it's obvious in her voice, but also maybe it's a little bit true?]
Maybe you just have to tire yourself out more!
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I'd rather not.
[ Let him be lazy!! ]
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Well... if it starts really becoming a problem, I can cast Sleep on you again. I should probably practice keeping that going anyway, huh? In case we need to knock somebody out for a while.
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[ She was really tired after singing for a few hours last time. She doesn't need to wear herself out like that again. Though he imagines playing violin for hours like that would end up hurting his wrist.
Or, they're in a cabin full of bards... ]
Maybe get someone to take shifts with.
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[It's not the choice of instrument, it's the magical force of will to maintain the spell. She hasn't quite connected the two yet.
She trails off as he continues, mouth falling into a surprised O.]
Yeah, that's a good idea! I'll check with the others and see who else knows that spell!
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